Batman Begins -- 2005 -- PG-13

The revival of the Batman franchise by taking us back to Batman's roots and tweaking them to be exciting. A LOT goes on in this film from Bruce Wayne trying to learn who he is to his return to Gotham to his antics around town before discovering what he needs to "be" Batman. To survive the trek from Bruce to Batman, though, takes some patience as it doesn't happen for the first hour of the movie.

The only disappointment is the attempted inclusion of a Batman villain, Scarecrow. When he was there, he was frightening, but he was way underused and never acheived any measure of being threatening. And his "defeat" was nothing short of shameful (he wasn't beaten by the bat). The real villain was very good, however, and Scarecrow could have been dropped entirely, and we would have lost nothing.

Don't get this film mixed up with the four that have come before. The implications here are that we're gratefully starting the franchise over (and forgetting about that Batman & Robin debacle). Unlike Burton's Batman film from 1988, Mr. and Mrs. Wayne were killed by a rogue hoodlum, just like they were in the comic books. There is an implication of a sequel that may include the Joker.

It was a very good film overall, and one of the best super hero films to come out.

The Brothers Grimm -- 2005 -- PG-13

This movie looked intriguing from the trailers I watched, but the final product was actually kind of disappointing. I guess it's still possible to make a good trailer.

The main problem here from the beginning was the pacing. It moved slowly and continued to take its time meandering through the opening plot lines. I had some difficulty following how the brothers ended up in their precarious situation and what the emperor had to do with it as well.

After about an hour, the pace picks up a little bit and it becomes somewhat interesting, but as we continue through it, too much goes on. They are in and out of the forest too much which causes it to lose its nature of being a threat. They are captured, released, and chased over and over again. The final battle throws in nearly every character we've met so far, and it becomes more of an eye roller than anything else.

The outcome to the final battle strikes me as ill-conceived and very hard to believe, even for a fairy tale.

So what began as a good idea just kind of foundered in the making of the film. I think the script has some issues as well that should have been corrected prior to filming. Terry Gilliam, the director and of Monty Python fame, has directed perfectly good films before, but it seems he missed the mark on this one with a film that is too slow and too contrived for its own good.

The Bride of Frankenstein -- 1935 -- NR

As with all horror movies, Frankenstein got itself a sequel in 1935. However, where Frankenstein was all plot and no character, the Bride of Frankenstein has a paper thin plot leaving the writers with no choice but to fill their 75 minutes developing the characters. This results in a film that is far more satisfying than the first, creating a real sympathy for the monster and those around him. 

Most of the development time was spent on the monster in rounding him out (they wisely gave him the ability to speak), and the movie could have been further improved by spending some time with Dr. Frankenstein and his wife. This aspect was lightly explored near the end, and I feel that conflict could have been much deeper had they taken just a little more time with it. 

A vast improvement over the original.

Blood Simple -- 1984 -- R

This debut for the Coen brothers who write and direct is an awesome thriller that takes four characters and keeps them guessing. They reveal to the audience everything that happens to each of them, and that superiority over the characters only heightens the drama watching the characters guess as to the intentions of the others. 

Basically, a husband is upset about his wife having an affar and leaving him, so he hires a private investigator to take care of the situation. Well, the investogatr double-crosses him, and the roller coaster starts from there as everything just goes horribly, horribly wrong. 

After watching it, I learned why it was such a classic. Definitely worth a viewing if you haven't yet seen it. The "R" rating is more for situational content than anything else. Minimal profanity, blood, or nudity, which is often the reason for the rating in a film like this.

Blade Runner -- 1982 -- R

A futuristic sci-fi offering with Harrison Ford as a Blade Runner named Deckard, a person who tracks down a certain model of android and "retires" them. The movie follows 4 of these androids and his quest to take them down.

The movie was very cerebral in nature with lots of exposition about genetics and making these androids who are lifelike. There were some action scenes, but not very many of them. The characters tended to be very flat in nature, which would have been more expected had this film delivered more of a thrill ride. Ford's character, though ostesibly the main character, didn't get rounded out very well at all. We learned nothing of his past at all to give him any kind of depth, so his actions appeared to be primarily plot driven. 

The final scene climbing around the outside of the building should have had more punch to it, but it felt very anti-climactic since I was uncertain as to why he would have chosen outside as a viable option since the stairs would have been far more logical.

The androids' fear of dying was put forth fairly well, but it didn't really create much tension as it was probably intended to. To finalize the whole thing, the movie ended somewhat ambiguously, whch considering how ambiguous the movie was throughout, was entirely appropriate.

The verdict? It was ok and kind of weird, but lacked a little something to make it good.

Barbie as The Princess and the Pauper -- 2004 - NR

Figured I've been subjected to this video about a hundred times, I might as well post something on it.

This is a musical film starring (yeah, you might have guessed already) Barbie blonde and Barbie brunette as Anneliese and Erika, the twins born to different sets of parents and who end up switching places. And that's where the similarities to the Mark Twain story end. Where the prince and the pauper switched places by choice, the princess and the pauper switched by circumstance and drama -- a better way, in my opinion.

The music was actually quite good, and I do find myself humming the tunes. The composer is obviously quite talented. The lyrics, on the other hand, are lacking a bit in the talent arena. The most glaring example or poor lyrics is the reference of "calico" to a male cat. The lyrics occasionally served to move the story, but on the whole, just were there to give the actors something to sing. One of the more popular songs (I say so, because I've been subjected to it through matching dolls -- girls are fun), "A Girl Like You," made little sense in the context of the plot, although parts of it worked to establish a little character.

As for the film, the plot, itself, was solid enough, but jam packed with contrivances. It is painfully clear that this movie was made for children since even the premise of the whole thing is contrived -- a kingdom is bankrupt because the mine ran out of gold. Let's think about this. This kingdom is positioned in the mountains and isolated. This means it should be economically self-sufficient, for the most part. Even if we consider that it trades with other kingdoms, trade is a two way street. If they are bankrupt, that means either poor management of assets or that the kingdom has nothing to offer for trade except gold. If that is all the kingdom has, though, it wouldn't be a kingdom. What we are supposed to accept from the very beginning to accept any portion of the story is that this kingdom's sole provider has been their gold mine as opposed to ANY exports, and rather than practicing good economics among their own people of this isolated kingdom in the mountains, the monarchy just bought stuff from other kingdoms and gave away all the kingdom's assets. Since the kingdom has clearly been in place long enough to build an ostentatious castle, this seem unlikely, but if the movie is to make any sense, we need to accept it.

Another contrivance was Preminger ordering that the princess be seized once he learned the truth. Let's be honest: can anyone other than the queen order that her daughter be seized. I mean, Preminger can suggest it, but if I were a guard and he said to seize the princess, I'd have some serious reservations.

The movie also implied that Preminger's gold was iron pyrite, but while this was interesting, it was never pursued. 

So, overall we have good music, shaky lyrics, good plot, but bad believability. I've been subjected to a few of these Barbie videos, and this was the start of a downhill slope for the films.

The Butterfly Effect -- 2004 -- R

I read the screenplay for this film quite some time ago, and I had high hopes for this one. It did not disappoint. This is a serious thrill ride with some solid characters ad a killer plot that is very clever as long as you don't think about the implications too much.

There are actually two versions of this film, each one with a different ending. The theatrical cut has a happy ending, while for the director's cut, they decided to go a bit on the edge, and give it a nasty, ugly ending. While I can say I've been a bit of a sap and like the happy endings, I seriously hate this director's cut ending. I love the film, but the ending really stinks.

So, I've decided I need the director's cut with the theatrical ending. This just means I need the mix-n-match edition, right? 

Anyway, this was a great psychological thriller that ran really well with some solid characters and tackles some of the big what-if questions in life.

Don't Tell Her It's Me (The Boyfriend School) -- 1990 -- PG-13

The Queen had me on a Shelley Long marathon with this one and Hello Again. Shelley takes more of a back seat to Steve Guttenberg here, and he plays her overweight, bald brother (having just undergone "radiation treatment") who transforms himself into a suave hunk on a motorcycle with long flowing hair that the girl totally falls for.

Long plays a romance writer who uses her writer creativity to setup her brother with the girl he loves. So her brother plays along but gets second thoughts along the way since he feels like he's deceiving the girl and no good will come of it. This being a typical RomCom, this revelation comes about right on schedule at the third act break.

Like Hello Again, not much to complain about. It's a firm story with some good characters, and a happy ending. Makes for a easy evening of movie watching.

The Body Snatcher -- 1945

Based on a short story by Robert Louis Stevenson, this story follows a doctor who hires out a cabman to bring his "specimens." Unfortunately, these specimens come from the local graveyard, and this makes the town citizens none too happy. Add to this that these two have some sort of history that unfolds as the films tells on.

Helping to drive the plot is the story of a girl who is paralysed from the waist down, and the good Dr. believes with a surgery "that only he can perform", she can be made to walk again. Of course, he refuses to do it because he is so busy teaching, so the girl's mother implores the assistant to intercede, which is where the fun really begins.

I was on and off with this film. On the one hand, the story was fairly intriguing and I wanted to see it play out. On the other, it got a little slow in some areas, and I just wanted to see it move a little quicker. My only real complaint had to do with a bit near the end. The doctor's assistant had some moral objections to graverobbing, and yet he helped the doctor at one point to do it. Didn't quite understand why, since he had little to gain by doing so.

So, it worked decently, and a solid story was told. I thought the characters were fairly well rounded, especially the history between some of the leads. There was a little bit of thinness in some of them, and the students just seemed like an unnecessary addition to the overall mix. So not a bad thriller here.

And as an added bonus, you get to see Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi battle it out...

Blue Movies - 1908

On "The Movies Begin Vol 1".

Fire in a Burlesque Theatre - 1908
Airy Fairie Lillian Tries on her New Corsets - 1908
From Show Girl to Burlesque Queen - 1908
Troubles of a Manager of a Burlesque Show - 1908

Okay, these were apparently risque for the time period, but they would not even find their way into todays' "blue rooms." What I can gather for their placement is that they involve Burlesque theatres or actresses or show (gasp!) undergarments.

These expand very little on the previous concepts and don't really push the envelope of what was created. It's interesting to see a different genre from the early days, but they're all a static camera watching the goings-on in a single shot. The final one about a manager's troubles is the most interesting having some sort of plot. The rest is underwear.

Maybe Alfred Hitchcock was into these movies. He was fond of shooting women in their underwear...

Brick -- 2005 -- R

This was a teen high school drama that almost reminds me of a kid version of Goodfellas or something of that nature. It follows a kid who discovers a girl dead in the opening scene. We flashback 2 days to learn he got a phone call from her that contained a lot of words that were completely ambiguous to him like brick, pin, tug, frisco and a few others that he tries to get to the bottom of.

He finds himself in the underbelly of the high school drug world and gets in the employ of the kingpin of the whole operation in order to unravel the mystery of his ex-girlfriend's demise. This was an intricately woven, well-thought-out tale of deception and intrigue where our hero deceives everyone and trusts no one but his buddy, who is the brains behind his movements.

He acquires a variety of contacts, not all of which are trustworthy, until when it appears the whole yarn is unravelled, there is yet one more piece of information he skillfully uncovers to a satisfying conclusion to this this clever little thriller. I admire the writing.

The Butterfly Effect 2 -- 2006 -- R

Why this is rated R is quite beyond me beyond a minimal amount of profanity. It wasn't terribly messy, but did have a scene that would send homophobes running for the hills. Maybe that did it.

Anyway, this is a sequel to the underrated flick, The Butterfly Effect, that lost its steam because Ashton Kutcher did a pretty decent job in the lead role, but people couldn't handle him not doing comedy. The plot is basically the same: guy has girl who dies, discovers he can relive moments of his life, and does so to fix things, but ends up screwing them up even worse.

While Evan in the first film used diaries to relive these hidden moments, our hero here uses photographs. It's a decent twist but not used very well given that Nick failed to take the obvious, easy, and ironically most effective road to fixing the problems in the two most critical instances. If you just accept it, though, it isn't bad all the way up to the end which was just horrible.

In a nutshell, we have four friends (two couples) who are out at a lake side celebrating the birthday of Nick's girlfriend. He take her off and she's got something to tell him, and he predictably (on both counts) has something to tell her first and is a certified workaholic who simply must get an urgent call on his cell phone to go back immediately. They drive back, he gets a blow out, and they are wiped out by an oncoming semi. He survives but with only half a life.

He discovers that by looking into pictures, he can relive moments of his past and even change them. He first discovers this by looking at a picture of himself driving right before the accident. Here is mistake number one. He tells his girl to buckle her seatbelt. The blow out occurs. He manages to get the car started and drive off just as the semi passes...and then he runs into a tree, but everyone survives. My thought. Why not just pull over? Change the tire, even?

Anyway, he gets the girl back and more stuff happens to where the job is bad. He tries to fix the job, but in doing so loses the girl. He tries to go back to the beginning, and while the job fix made sense, the final throw back to the beginning did not. In fact, it was nothing short of dumb. So dumb, in fact, that I'll break my spoiler rule and give you the simplicity, and then what these geniuses did here.

Early in the film, the lovers were sitting by the waterside. After his workaholic call, he promises to come back next year and not bring a cell phone. She wants to smash the phone. He agrees to let her. My writer bells go off and I feel like the way the movie will end is for him to go back to this moment and smash the phone or otherwise make it impossible to take the call. Film plays out in long-winded fashion, and we get to the point where (ta-da!) he gets a picture of that party moment. Well, they walk to the waterside, and it's all very sweet when...he breaks up with her. WHAAAT!!!!!!????

Sure, buck predicatability, but at least make it believable. By avoiding that call, he misses the meeting and no one gets hurt in the blow out. Just that easy, and the film ends on a high note. But no. In fact, it goes downhill from there, but it's too much.

So, it was a good concept and the plot, admittedly, is not too full of holes. The twists play out just fine, and to be honest is not a bad film to watch. But the idiocy of the ending killed me.

Bloodrayne -- 2005 -- R

I subjected myself to another Uwe Boll flick, and this time, I am met with some confusion. Why? Is it the movie? Not really. This was a film with some good things and some bad things to it, but not altogether as bad as what the rumors seem to indicate. To confirm this, I went ahead and broke my own rules and read some reviews to try and determine what it is that everyone hates.

First, my own opinions. I always watch with the story in mind, so as long as the production isn't distracting, I watch the story itself. We have a fair amount of cheesy dialogue and cliche plot devices to get things moving, most notably the fortune teller who uses tarot cards to get our protagonist on the right track, and comments on a prophecy of some sort, which as anyone with any religious knowledge might know, prophecy from sources other than God tend to be somewhat unreliable. Also, this particular prophecy plays very little into the plot at hand.

The battles tended to be very bloody...almost overkill bloody in terms of how graphic it all was. Do we understand that stuff like this probably went on back in the time setting this movie was supposed to be in? Sure. Do we really need to go that far with it? Not really, but that's my opinion.

The actual plot of the film, once it got moving, felt very video gamish in nature right down to mini-tasks, big enemies, items to collect, abilities enhanced when items collected, etc., and for the most part, I didn't have a problem with the overall plot. The characters were okay; I would say about average for a film like this. We got some backstory and weaknesses of some of the characters, which helps to make them a little more human, though a couple of our main human trio were left almost completely blank.

We had a sex scene that was so completely out of place and came out of no where that it seems to have been just thrown in for the sake of having a sex scene. The only point it seemed to serve was giving our heroine a connection with one of the humans, which could have been done a hundred other ways to acheive the same effect without the tastelessness.

What really ruined the film for me was the ending. And not really the plot ending either, it was the ending tacked onto the film that did it. Rayne sits on this throne, and it felt kind of pointless, though I got the symbology. But what happened next was this long, long, long montage sequence recounting some of the more grotesque scenes and even some that were not in the film proper. It felt completely pointless and ruined what was a passable film.

So in the end, while I don't understand all the hate for this movie, it was definitely not one of the greats. Without the final montage to remember, it would have been a lot better, and it appears Uwe needs to get a decent script under him. His main weakness is allowing these marginal scripts where he might actually do okay with a solid screenplay at his fingertips. Oh well.

The Banger Sisters -- 2002 -- R

Yup, another chick flick night. This time we have a tale of two friends who called themselves "the banger sisters." Well, actually, it wasn't them, it was Frank Zappa who named them this. The reason? Well... Let's say these weren't church-going girls. Any guess on what "the rock cock" collection is?

Anyway, we start out with the wild friend played by Goldie Hawn getting sacked nd then traveling to Phoenix to visit her old friend played by Susan Sarandon who has gone all conservative and gotten married to a lawyer, had a couple kids, and now has a closet full of beige. on the wya to Phoenix, wild friend meets a writer intent on killing his father played by Geoffrey Rush. She recruits him as her special friend and hangs out with him in his hotel room while she figures out what she wants to do with her revelation of her friend being Miss Goody-Girl all of a sudden.

As can be expected in a film like this, wild friend pulls conservative out of her shell causing mass panic and ruckus in her family, and reveals to her family just wild momma was in her younger years. All this was really inevitable in a film like this which plays out like a reverse coming of age for the other character, where the lead actually experiences no growth.

Technically, the plot was decent, and the main three characters fleshed out pretty well. Everyone else just kind of worked like furniture with only the eldest daughter coming close to being more than cardboard throughout the film.

Some annoyances include the daughter's declaration of mom being a hypocrite because her younger years were hidden. We have geeky daughter and perfect daughter. Someone fails their driver's test and then steals the car. The wild one is intent of invading everyone's life and making them just like her. The writer was an introvert...that's not a cliche, but rather true to life...I was just saying...

The plot is very much driven by the wild one with her decisions influencing nearly everything that goes on, but I found her to be a bit over the top with her friends' family, actually lecturing the kids at one point. Seriously...

So, it's not a chart topper or anything, but it's entertaining anyway, and they did pay attention when they put it together. It was nice to see a film about crazy adults instead of all these teen flicks that run around so often.

*batteries not included -- 1987 -- PG

So we step back a few years to a movie about some people living in a building slated for demolition. They're stubborn and don't want to move. They refuse the evil developer's money and stay put where they are. As could be expected, they get hoods coming round who are supposed to force them out, and said hoods generally wreck the place to encourage them to move on.

So is where the story heats up. These little robots show up for some reason and start fixing everything and helping these people survive this unfortunate event. Well, this perturbs the goons and the developer since they still refuse to move. The old cafe on the first floor goes from run-down nothing to hopping joint in no time with the construction workers spending their lunches there, and the "fixers", as they term the little alien robots, continue to help.

To go much further is spoiler territory, but the plots flows very easily and logically from point to point (and it should...it had five writers on it, and Spielberg as a producer). The characters are fairly well drawn throughout with the old couple who own the shop, the pregnant Spanish girl who longs for her musician boyfriend, and the struggling artist who wants the building relegated to landmark status so it can't be torn down.

It's a clever and fun film to watch, and although the ending is inevitable from the get-go, watching it all play out makes for an enjoyable film experience. Might I also mention that soundtrack with the catchy jazz tunes that keep running through your head...even now, I hear it. Or maybe that's the voices...

The Brutal Truth -- 2000 -- R

This movie was referenced by a guy who was wondering if I could write a screenplay in a similar vein, so I thought I'd give it a viewing. This is primarily a character drama where a bunch of old friends head out to one of their friend's mountain home for a reunion. Once they all get there, their host is not present, and they wonder where she is. Well, she comes in later and commits suicide before anyone can talk to her, so now they're left to figure out why.

This movie has its ups and downs throughout the narrative. Sometimes, it's paced fairly well, and sometimes, the boredom of where they are comes through very painfully. The gist is at the moment their friend kills herself, there is a rock slide of some kind which completely blocks off the top of the mountain with the rest of the world, so they are left with their friend's corpse until the authorities can come and make their report. So everyone is left to re-acquaint and work out their differences.

Obviously, a situation like this is ripe for some drama, but rather than explore everyone's characters as extensively as they could, time is devoted to some strange antics and side plots, most notably, the weird sub-plot of stealing the neighbor's dog in the hopes he'll post for a reward, which is done way too quickly. This is done to get money for drugs which leads me to another complaint.

These are supposed to be adults, and while I understand that everyone has their situations, the emphasis is similar to the slew of Friday the 13th movies I'm going through where half the cast is all about sex and drug use. Part of me is wondering when Jason will come wandering through the woods to hack a couple of them up.

So how'd we do with the characters here? Well, it runs slow in places and gets unfocused at times, but on the whole, we get a pretty fair sense of the characters and their personalities and situations. Many of them experience growth during the course of the story as a result of being stuck together, and it ends on a very satisfying note for everyone involved, including the one who killed herself, as that is explained very satisfactorily. Another title for this film is "The Giving Tree," and yes, the Shel Silverstein book is referenced.

Everyone is pretty much their own person and while not everyone is three dimensional, most everyone is at least 2 dimensional with some personal characteristics and a little knowledge of who they are, and even where they came from in some cases. One couple comes out with their dirty landry and grows in a climactic moment for them. It's really not bad, but with so many characters, we could have used fewer fluff scenes and more about the character scenes.

Vanilla/Paula is probably the most memorable, though she was painted the thinnest of all of the characters. She was the comic relief in this film and played her naiveity rather amusingly. It was a bit over the top at times, but as we kept rolling, she was given a little personality.

The biggest problem in this whole thing is that one person knew the reason their friend killed herself. It wasn't anything that involved everyone, but just a couple of people. It factored heavily into one character's story, but only that one. It hit one relationship. Basically everyone else was fodder to give us characters to interact with, but the brutal truth is that we could have dropped some characters and still had a complete story without them. That's definitely problematic.

A final note of weirdness is the arrival of the final character of the "reunitees." We get this big explanation of the phones being out and the road being covered, and then someone else arrives, and we're left wondering, "How'd he get here if the road is blocked?"

It does have a good, tied-up happy ending, and the premise is interesting. So it's not a bad film, but just one that makes a good effort to build up some characters yet does so at such an uneven pace that it gets boring to watch at times.

Ben-Hur -- 1959 -- G

Taking a trip back in time, we comes across the first big-time Academy Award winning film that took 11 awards back in 1960. This goes to show that long dramas are where it's at since this one runs about 3 hours and 40 minutes long. We also have Charleton Heston in another biblical setting following the Ten Commandments from 1956. Now he's been Moses and met Jesus.

The story follows a guy name Judah Ben-Hur, who is a Jewish prince of the house of Hur. He was once friends with a guy named Massala, who is a Roman made in charge of Jerusalem under a new incoming governor, but their friendship had a falling out when Massala wanted Judah to turn in his friends for being against the Roman government. After an accident involving the new governor, Judah is made an example of and sent away in stocks and chains until he finds a new life elsewhere. He is obsessed, however, with returning and finding out what happened to his mother and sister, who were also arrested when he was, and upon returning, he is led to believe they are dead, which sparks him into participating in the big chariot race against Massala (and quite a few others). Sure, I left out some details, but I can't tell you everything; it's against my code of ethics. Weaved into this fabric is the existence of Jesus Christ, and though he is not a major character in the story, he does play a role in Ben-Hur's life, and to Ben-Hur, the scant run-ins with Jesus are memorable and pivotal.

The film is billed as "A Tale of Christ," but it's more appropriately titled, "Someone Christ Ran Into On An Occasion." It's rather misnomed in my opinion, but that's how the book is titled, and maybe the book has more to it than the adaptation, but I can't imagine what was left out of the almost 4 hour epic, which is complete on the DVD with Overture, Intermission, and Entr'acte.

Character-wise, Judah receives the lion's share of development, and he is an odd one. He moves from a pacifist to vengeful in the course of his experiences, and still knows when to hold his tongue. I think some of his decisions were strange, especially the final one when he was with Pilate, but it fits all right and makes him real since not everyone fully thinks out their choices and acts very impulsively.

Those around him got some development, but only enough to make you relate to them from Judah's perspective. Massala was probably number two in the developmental arena followed closely by Esther and then Judah's mother and sister. A big plus here that a lot of movies lack in is that I remember the names of all the prinicpals and most of the supporting cast. That, in itself, shows some good development in the characters.

In the action department, we have a bit here and there. Judah gets into quite a few scraps with the guards. Things get blown up and burned. The centerpiece of the work is the chariot race, which is not just a thing they threw in for the fun of it. This is the climax of the film in regards to the relationship between Judah and Massala. It's an impressive piece of work that was very well done.

So, if you have a lot of time, this one is definitely worth catching. It's the first winner of 11 Academy Awards (which means I've seen all three of these winners, the other two being Titanic and Return of the King still proving that 3 hour plus epics are where it's at), so that in itself should be enough to plug it in. It's also a very good film though with a good story and a good ending.

Ben-Hur -- 1925

The silent adaptation of the book both this and the 1959 classic are based on runs rather long for a silent movie: 143 minutes. It was included with the 4 disc '59 version, so how could I resist. But I watched the whole thing and understood it perfectly. Some might say this is in part due to my having watched the mammoth 1959 version first, but in reality, there are quite a few significant differences between the silent version and the award winner.

The plot involves a guy who lived at the same time as Christ and during a moment in his life when he was at his lowest, he had a chance encounter with Jesus that gave him renewed strength to survive his circumstances and return home from his captivity. Once home, he strives to locate his mother and sister who were also captured in the accident the Romans arrested him for and then take revenge on his old friend and captor for the assumed death of his mother and sister in the form of a chariot race.

I had a pretty fair understanding of the characters in this one, and knew who was who as it trundled along. The characters Ben-Hur encountered were simply passing people in his life who were given very little screen time; basically enough to know who they are while they're on screen and then completely forgotten. An interesting note though is that Mary got herself a halo here and Jesus is arms only. The rest of him is obscured.

The story moved pretty quickly for the most part despite its length and a lot of stuff happened that served to move it. Trouble is that the chariot race happened qite a distance from the end, so once that climactic scene was over, we had to practically suffer through the rest of the film to resolve the mother-sister issue. Added to this was something not in the 1959 film (I've never read the book) and that was Ben-Hur gathering two legions of men to spring Jesus. It was an enormous plot device to throw in after the race and enormous plot pieces are actually a big part of this film.

Anything that was larger than life or required large numbers of extras got a lot of time in here. So the opening scene where Jerusalem is introduced was over-long. The nativity scenes were over-long. There was a battle between boats that went so far as to name some of the pirates, and this boat battle just wouldn't end. In the '59 version, the boat battle was maybe five minutes long, if that, and most of that was below decks. In this one, most of the time is on deck and has the hack n slash stuff.

And speaking of hack n slash, if this movie were rated today, it would be rated R. How 'bout that? The fight scenes were very violent. No blood, but some of the imagery was gruesome. In addition, it did have some topless women, which gets a movie an automatic R for nudity. This one predated the motion picture rules that first came about in 1927 and were more solidifed in 1933.

For a silent film, this isn't bad. It's understandable, the intertitles aren't too much, and it's interesting. Some sequences run a tad long, but it's not too bad.

The Bishop's Wife -- 1947

If you're looking for a different Christmas movie to add to your list of things to see each year, but want something that not everyone in the world watches, this one might be worth looking into. You got your snow and Santa and happy tidings to round it all out at the end in a film with Cary Grant and David Niven (and how can you go wrong with that?).

The bishop wants to build a cathedral for his parishoners -- a grand cathedral that will be most impressive in its size and construction, but in order to do so, he needs to secure funding. One of the biggest supporters is giving a million dollars, no less, but she wants her husband honored right out in front, which the bishop feels is a huge compromise since he wants God honored (of course). So the bishop asks for help, and in comes an angel to act as his assistant throughout these problems until the bishop no longer needs him.

Of course, this cathedral is only the overlying problem in the bishop's life, and the angel is determined to fix one of the bigger problems of the bishop neglecting his wife and children, so the angel provides most of his assistance to the wife, allowing the bishop a streak of jealousy to desire his wife over his work. This works to an extent...until the angel starts falling for the wife.

The characters drawn in this are at the same time stereotypical (overworked husband, frustrated wife) but having their own quirks to try and offset them a bit. The plot flows very smoothly from point to point, even though some points seem a little on the silly side (such as the ice skating scene being a bit over the top).

In the end, it was a cute movie that works for a feel good Christmas story that's a little out of the norm and out of the way from the normal fare we see every year.

Barnyard -- 2006 -- PG

CG animated kids' movies are becoming quite the standard and overruling the older cell animation style, and so we get Barnyard, another film in this computer character style. But hm...what is our most defining feature of Barnyard? Bulls with udders. Not only do they have udders, but in one scene, we find these are milkable udders. Are we disturbed yet? Let's move on in.

Imagine this: all those animals you see out there grazing in the fields and pecking corn are actually just as intelligent as you and me, but they keep it a secret and wait till everyone's gone before rising onto two legs and carrying on conversations in standard English. Barnyard's actual plot is that of a kid bull whose dad wants him to grow up and stop fooling around all the time, since someday, he'll be in charge (more than likely). When circumstances throw junior into the ring of leadership, he has to figure out what his dad did right and decide whether he has what it takes to defend the barnyard from the evil coyotes.

Ok, it's a kid movie, so it's got cuteness factors out the wazoo as well as a super simple plot. It builds up to a super emotional punch about 30 minutes in, but after that, the film can't quite build back to that level as dad and junior's relationship got the lion's share of the development to ensure that the punch hit right on. From that point, the last hour is some slapstick humor, some awkward teen angst moments, and of course, the heroic showdown where everyone is redeemed and vindicated (even though the point where our hero got the standard "terrible secret" got so glossed over, that it was never brought up again for him to be redeemed over).

The characters are 90% cliches: stoic and wisdom infused dad; irresponsible kid thrust into leadership he doesn't want; shy new girl who falls for kid; some random younger character who looks up to kid; slew of others who fill in the gaps of best friends or dumb cohorts. From these, we do get some highly amusing moments, though. I believe the comedic highlight was the "boy-tipping" sequence, which was probably the reason this movie was made to begin with, since it was the longest sequence, and clearly the most well-thought-out (if you accept that cows can drive cars). Another very funny sequence, and one that was probably conceived of when they figured out how to setup the movie so their "boy-tipping scene" would work, is where the farmer catches the animals partying and talking, so the mule kicks him.

Beyond a handful of these sequences to exploit their idea, the rest was kind of tiring and existed only to create a 90 minute movie with a character arc and resolution. It really feels like they wanted to do these silly Barnyard animal scenes, but needed a vehicle to do them in that wasn't a short.

There are better movies out there for the younger set like Pixar's offerings (pretty much all of them), so unless you love the boy-tipping sequence, this film has very little to offer that we haven't seen before.