Doom -- 2005 -- R

I watched the DVD Unrated version.

I don't know what it was about this movie. It's like a guilty pleasure. We're talking about a film that is mostly cliche sci-fi action.

I don't mind admitting this. Rooms stay dark for some reason, even though the lights get turned on in some rooms. In the dark rooms, no one tries. The guys are pulled off an imminent leave for the mission. Yeah, didn't see that coming... The group is from the Marines. always a sci-fi favorite. Each Marine has his own nickname. One was killed moments after his flashlight conveniently went out. Shots are clearly setup for something to appear in that big open space to the character's right. Kinda takes away the surprise. I asked myself why one sequence was so freakin' long as a guy conveniently dropped his gun clip causing it to skitter across the floor just out of reach. He was in a bathroom and instead of just going for his clip by opening the bathroom stall door and diving for it, he crawls under the door and reaches for it. I'm waiting for him to get pummelled, but as these movies go, that's too easy. It wasn't suspenseful; just annoying.

The character development is remarkably decent. Even though we get a whole slew of characters to likely give us a high body count, the development of these characters was done as well as it could be. Each had his share of a combination of cliches and flaws. My only complain on these was the character who was apparently added at the last minute to fill the need to be a kill. He had no development at all. He stood guard for awhile while everyone else ran around, and then inexplicably, he was used to come in a rare threesome to a particular room where he remained out of sight until the bad creature thing came by and lopped off his head.

However, in the late second / early third act, something happens. The movie actually starts to get interesting. Character development comes to a head as characters get knocked off. With the numbers dropping, characters get more screen time and you learn more about them. It even got exciting. The revelation of the creatures' origin was not much of a twist, nor was an escape by them. The big twist was the leader's solution to the problem. It was completely whacked, but made perfect sense. 

But then we had something big happen. Here's the point where if you allow yourself to be sucked into the film, it becomes the guilty pleasure. A five minute plus continuous shot first person sequence styled right out of the game. The camera zip-pans around finding creatures coming up behind you and on top of you, and the gun is just going nuts as you're being attacked. From a forensical perspective, it's a little silly, but as just an entertaining sequence, it was awesome.

We ended with the obligatory and somewhat silly fistfight / wrestling match (we're dealing with The Rock here). You know, the kind where they put down their guns and duke it out like men (or monsters or whatever). 

So when the credits rolled with its heavy metal rock parental advisory lyrics song at the end, I found myself stunned to discover I liked it. The movie is very entertaining. It had a decent plot, good characters, and some decent directing. It has some weak points, but I am able to overlook them.

But here's the catch: This movie is based on a video game. Personally, I think linking movies to video games is a horrible idea because the video game audience doesn't understand the drama in the film, and the movie audience doesn't understand the video game elements. The filmmakers here wisely made a film loosely based on the game and it's essential plot, but did not duplicate the video game. If you loved the game, you'll hate the movie. If you can detach yourself from the game, or have never played Doom 3 (the game this movie's plot is based on), you just might enjoy it. The title was this movie's doom as it lost over $40 million at the box office according to IMDB. Hope its video sales are better. I admit to buying a copy. I told you it was a guilty pleasure.

D.O.A. -- 1950 -- NR

This is a 1950 film noir movie that was remade several years later. It involves a man who was unknowingly poisoned giving him only a week to track down the guy who killed him. Like a lot of old thrillers, this was a fun ride. I think it skirted some believability when the main character (who is little more than a banker) was at home with a gun in his hand and chasing the unknown bad guy through an abandoned warehouse only to have him escape. He also as observant as Sherlock Holmes in nearly everything that went on. Some of this can be put down to the fact that he knows he's dying, so he has nothing to lose. This aside, like I said, it's a fun movie to watch, and kicks off real quick for the short attention spanners.

Dead Ringers -- 1988 -- R

This film was billed as a Psychological Thriller and was even in Entertainment Weekly's list of the top 25 scariest movies of all time which is what led me to watch it. The problem: this is not a psychological thriller. A thriller requires a threat of some sort to be omnipresent, but this movie has none. No threat to anyone at any time during the movie. (Well, there is sort of one near the beginning, but it comes to nothing.)

This is a psychological drama trying to masquerade as a psychological thriller. Here's where the problem with this comes in. The premise of the film revolves around these interdependent identical twins (Elliot and Beverly -- and yes, that this is a woman's name is a sore point for Beverly) who share an apartment, their gynecological practice, and even women. One is a suave ladies man who generally picks up the women and then lets his introverted, book worm brother have a turn as him. The movie is without a doubt creepy in an "ew" kind of way, but that's about it.

The drama comes in when Beverly falls in love with a woman that he and Elliot had been sharing and now he wants her for himself. Beverly descends into drug use with her and since he is a doctor, he is able to procure pharmaceuticals for himself. She finds out about their "sharing" and is obviously disgusted by it, since she picks up early on that Beverly seems a little "schizophrenic." She is an actress who has to leave town for awhile, and Beverly has difficulty with the separation eventually returning to his brother to cling. Elliot decide he has lost touch with his brother and they need to re-synchronize so Elliot gets on the prescription drugs too, so they're at the same level. As these things tend to go, they both lose everything in the process. We won't even go into the "gynelogical surgical instruments for operating on mutant women." What the heck was that all about?

The problem comes in when everyone besides Elliot and Beverly are poored developed characters. We know the twins very well, but everyone else is out of the loop. Even the girlfriend actress doesn't get much development. While this is typical of a psychological thriller, a drama requires relationships to keep it interesting and moving, and the only relationship developed is that of the twins. Time is given to Beverly and the girl, but only between them. She, as a character, rarely gets much time.

The climax & ending makes very little sense. I think I have an idea, but trying to go past a simple reason to why the why is is convoluted in my own head to say the least. When the end credits started rolling, I was actually hoping for a final scene to explain what the heck just happened, but nothing. I watched the special features on the DVD, but nothing. I don't really have any clue why the climax went the way it did, or why the ending was the way it was. 

The film was decent, but a lot of stuff happened that didn't make a lot of sense, and the ending just lost me giving me a poor last impression.

Dracula -- 1992 -- R

aka: Bram Stoker's Dracula

Despite the title, Francis Ford Coppola's version of the classic vampire story holds true to the novel in some ways, but departs completely in others. The most outstanding example is that the novel is no where near as erotic and sensual as this film is. Pretty much the entire sequence of Dracula following Mina around town never occurred in the book. In fact, Mina is nearly nonexistent from the novel except where Lucy is concerned, and then she runs off to Jonathon upon hearing from him.

The relationship between Mina and Dracula is an element of the film only. The novel contained no Elisabeta and no sequence where Dracula was damned. Mina's desire to drink the count's blood, while so willing in the film, is described like this in the book: "The attitude of the two had a terrible resemblance to a child forcing a kitten's nose into a saucer of milk to compel it to drink." Mina herself says later that she was forced to suffocate or drink.

The film taken on its own, it plays remarkably well. The characters are fairly well rounded, and the plot moves at a good pace. The relationship between Mina and Jonathon is not as well as it really should have been made, since you feel like she should be with Dracula and even feel a bit sorry for the count when he loses her.

It did do a good job of condensing the novel into a conhesive whole with the wealth of characters contained in the book. Dracula is extremely creepy and very well conceived in this version. He doesn't walk; he glides. His shadow has a mind of its own. Very awesome. He also plays as a very threatening character; one to be feared and not underestimated.

Compared to novel: extra plot never contained kind of takes away from the horror element. As a film alone: excellent.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde -- 1931 -- NR

This early screen adaptation of Robert Louis Stevenson's perenially adapted novel of good vs evil plays out very, very well in this early incarnation. The initial change was well setup, the character relationships were well defined, the actual change played out realistically rather than cheesy, and the Jekyll/Hyde struggle was very well done.

Some complaints: the silly complaint is that because this is an early talkie version of the story, the pronunciation of the name was not as standardized as it is today. In this version, Jekyll's name is pronounced "Jeekle". Made me nuts.

On a more relevant note, I felt that Hyde was occasionally too rational. He is supposed to be Jekyll's dark side, and it makes perfect sense for his dark side to have some rationale, just as his rational side has some darkness, but Hyde gave a very rationale speech and was very much Jekyll in Hyde's clothing on a scene near the end when he had to convince a friend to get the antidote for him. I can see a little rationale, but that was really too far. I had trouble believing that Hyde would be THAT rational, regardless of the situation.

That aside on a first watching, I really enjoyed it, and felt it was a worthwhile film. The version I watched on DVD also has the 1941 version, and the qualty of the recording is quite good and clear.

Finally, as a bit of trivia, this is not the first screen version of this story. There have been over 50 screen versions of the story dating back to 1908. Before this version in 1931, there were 9 different silent versions of the story, three of them in 1920.

Duel -- 1971 -- PG

Gives road rage a whole new fearful meaning. This film follows a salesman as he goes to try a get an account. He takes a road trip and on the way, he passes an old ugly truck. Well, the truck passes him and then hits the brakes. The film is off.

This film equates to one really long suspenseful chase between the salesman and the truck (who is, incidentally, the antagoinst of the moive, not the driver of the truck). This does what movies do best: take a mundane everyday situation and blow it completely out of proportion, and it does it well.

Some minor complaints I had were quelled for the most part. I thought he should call the poice from the beginning, and thank the Lord the character touched upon the idea, but explained why he couldn't at the time. His later attempts to contact authorities were stifled by the truck's presence.

My only other possible complaint was that the whole thing could have been stopped if the guy just went back home. The truck was always waiting ahead of him on the road, so a simple move of turning around and kissing the account good-bye (or at least delivering a solid reason why he didn't show) would have been what I'd've done if I were being chased by a murderous truck. The account was made out to be very, very important, which is probably why he kept going.

This aside, for Spielberg's directoral debut, it was really good. It had a lot of suspense and kept me watching a truck and a car driving down a road for the 90 miute run time...and that is really saying something.

The Day After Tomorrow -- 2004 -- PG-13

Wasn't sure what to expect from this one, but I was happy to find it had a satisfying action plot and a complete ending, which is hard to get out of some disaster movies. 

The premise is a little hard to swallow. Apparently, global warming has progressed to the point that the earth's own climate steps in to fix it. In order to cure the melting polar ice caps and the warming atmosphere, there is an enormous ice storm that will fix it all and once all is normal, the storm will end. If you can suspend your disbelief and go with the flow on this one, it works well within the story's confines. 

There were some odd bits within the plot. The love interest gets herself injured forcing those huddling and waiting to be rescued to do something dangerous on the verge of getting frozen to death while fighting hungry wolves. Yup, it's that out of place. There also seemed to be a few scenes completely missing where characters completely disappear; their fates get implied or mentioned later. It's weird to not see the fate of some of these characters.

All in all, if you can go with the main premise of the movie, it's a good film. The action is constant, and the suspense is well placed. This and a bucket of popcorn makes for a good movie night.

Dumbo -- 1941 -- G

This is a short little film from Disney's earlier days that would never get made today. Why? It contains a lot of smoking and one drunk elephant. But let's move past that into the film itself.

This is actually a really sweet tale about a baby elephant with big ears. He is rejected by his kind, loses his mother who tries to protect him, and is turned into the laughing stock of the circus. Dumbo is developed very thoroughly even though he never speaks a word, and you really feel for this little guy. He ironically befriends a mouse who becomes the equivalent of his voice from then on.

Bad things go to worse until he ends up drunk on champagne and we begin one of the trippiest sequences in film history: "Pink Elephants on Parade." Fantastic imagery here, but the rest of the film is simple and doesn't really need much else. It's short but complete.

Excellent offering from Disney before he sold out to make cute little animal cartoons later in his career.

Don't Tell Her It's Me (The Boyfriend School) -- 1990 -- PG-13

The Queen had me on a Shelley Long marathon with this one and Hello Again. Shelley takes more of a back seat to Steve Guttenberg here, and he plays her overweight, bald brother (having just undergone "radiation treatment") who transforms himself into a suave hunk on a motorcycle with long flowing hair that the girl totally falls for.

Long plays a romance writer who uses her writer creativity to setup her brother with the girl he loves. So her brother plays along but gets second thoughts along the way since he feels like he's deceiving the girl and no good will come of it. This being a typical RomCom, this revelation comes about right on schedule at the third act break.

Like Hello Again, not much to complain about. It's a firm story with some good characters, and a happy ending. Makes for a easy evening of movie watching.

Date Movie -- 2006 -- PG-13

Ok, this film from (2 of the 6) writers of Scary Movie was just dumb. It had a handful of moments drawn from some of the recent RomComs, but on the whole, it was dumb. All it did was shift one kind of comedy into another and then try too hard to make it funny. RomComs are mostly situational and dramatic humor, while this film was more blatant slapstick, sight gag, and sarcastic humor.

It had a rough storyline that it meandered through, but really was only there as a track to put their sight gags and movie spoofs onto. I really couldn't find any redeemable qualities in this film. I guess its pacing was all right, and I did laugh a few times, but on the whole, it wasn't worth it.

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights -- 2004 -- PG-13

This quasi-sequel to the fifteen year old film (well, 15 then almost 20 now) is not so much a sequel, but more like another episode with completely different characters (though Patrick Swayze did do a cameo and dance for us). This one is a far simpler story than the original revolving around a girl who moves to Cuba with her family in 1958 on the brink of Castro's rule. She meets a local boy and much to the consternation of everyone, pursues a relationship with him. The plot is fairly predictable as are the characters, and it really seems to be primarily a vehicle on which to drive the multiple dancing scenes.

There's really not much to complain about since there wasn't much there. The characters have no real depth to them, and the plot really can't get much of a hole in it. It's not a bad film by any means, and if you want something that's just enjoyable to watch with a bunch of snazzy Latin music, then it works for that.

Date With An Angel -- 1987 -- PG

Lookie, another click flick. If I could get her to watch The Ring with me, that would be a red letter day. She did watch The Godfather once (during a game of Skip-Bo, but I digress.

Tonight's RomCom was this 80's wonder about a guy on the verge of marriage who is "kidnapped" from his engagement party by a group of "terrorists" to go to a bachelor party -- an event that was not shown, but implied heavily enough that we get it. So while he's recovering from a hangover, this angel was hit by an orbiting satellite and crash landed in his pool with a broken wing.

The movie basically follows him wanting to be faithful to his fiancee who does not believe he isn't cheating on her throughout the whole film. Threats of the thing escalating wreak havoc as we move through the simple plot, but nothing ever really gets as out of hand as it could have. I'm not sure if this ranks as a disappointment because it didn't or a relief that we didn't go into cliche-land of government agents and such.

The focus remained on the guy and his desired relationship with his fiancee who grew crazier and crazier as the story proceeded. The way it was all resolved was unexpected, but ultimately satisfying for the storyline we were given.

Everything else is normal RomComLand stuff. Characters are decently built to service the story and the plot is very easy to follow. Just a simple movie date night kind of film that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy when it's over.

Daredevil -- 2003 -- PG-13

This film had its ups and downs. First, the concept is just very cool making the protagonist and hero very cool as well. Like most superhero films, he works a boring day job and serves up justice on a plate at night, but unlike most heroes, he has to use his "superpower" in his every day life just to make a living.

He's 100% blind, but "sees" through what amount to echo sounding like a bat. This allows him some advantages over a seeing person, but some serious disadvantages during some key moments, which helps to add to the tension. The main disadvantage is that since he "sees" through sound, extreme sounds can disrupt his sight.

The biggest flaw in this film is the subplot of the Elektra romance, or more to the point, her own super-hero-ish moves. Their meeting was stilted and awkward. Their little "battle" was poorly set up and nothing short of silly (remember Count Dooku's challenge to Yoda? Yeah, something like that. Neat battle. Crappy setup.) I setup some minor tension fo a few scenes, but it is quickly and easily resolved the next time they meet...and then her part in the film is over.

Some of the bad guy stuff was a bit silly, like a lot of the bad guy stuff in these types of films tends to be. This one has a character named bullseye who "never misses." It's an impressive ability to be sure, but he's given some weird actions that I think were supposed to come off as cocky, but were just...weird. Like he's trying to be a showoff and be the ultimate bad guy. He needed to pick one. Like bad guys should, he learned of Daredevil's weakness, but faild to use it to any advantage except by accident.

As for character, it did pretty poorly. We didn't get a real sense of anyone other than Daredevil and his alter ego. Elektra and Bullseye got some minimum development, but not a lot beyond what was needed for the plot. The mobsters got nothing. Murdoch's partner was good comedy relief, but he didn't get much either.

So, from an idea perspective, this was awesome. Even the plot was okay, it had some good action, some clever stuff from the lead, but when you dig deeper you get concrete and celluloid. Not much in the way of substance.

Desperado -- 1995 -- R

When Robert Rodriguez made El Mariachi, he was thinking about a video release, and then doing a sequel to it with a bigger budget. Well, El Mariachi got a wide release, and this sequel does have a bigger budget...a lot bigger. Desperado is "El Mariachi 2" and now we have a star cast, Hollywood equipment, and RR still calling all the shots.

We pick up many years after the end of El Mariachi with the mariachi (he isn't given a name) hunting down a drug lord called Bucho. He has become a man with a haunted past, and the source of the legend of "the guitar player", who is a guy who carries his weapons around in a guitar case. He holds this Bucho personally responsible for the death of his girl, Domino, and blowing a hole through his hand. This relationship from Bucho to Moco from the first film is never really explained, but we're supposed to go with it. While on this quest, he runs across another girl who takes him in after he saves her life. There's a romance there, and lots of shootouts, with a final conclusion to the whole thing including a bit of a twist.

Most of the film is action. Like the first one, this is an action film with some character development, but most of the focus is on the running and shooting. Given the simplicity of the overall plot, there's not much in the way of problems with it. Guy walks into a bar and kills everyone. Simple as that.

One thing I wanted to know that was never explained is the mariachi's relationship with the narrator guy at the beginning. It is established they know each other somehow and they're friends, but it never goes into their history on how they got to know each other. I would have liked to know that.

I will say that some of the dialogue sequences run painfully long, especially Quinten Tarantino's joke. It was long, and I had trouble figuring out what it had to do with the plot. It seems slowing down an action movie for something like this doesn't work so well.

So, like the first, this wasn't a bad movie. It was all action, chase, and shooting...and shooting and shooting and shooting and shooting, and did I mention shooting. I did get tired of shootouts here. Other than that, it worked pretty well.

As an added note, one of the two guys in the guitar-gun sequence is Carlos Gallardo, the original Mariachi from the first film. I recognized him immediately. Kinda neat.

The Descent -- 2005 -- R

Wow! That was really something. This horror flick about six women who venture into an unexplored cave threatens to be old, boring, or cliche, but comes off as a very good suspense movie.

Quite simply, you have a group of thrill-seeking women, who are looking to have a little spelunking adventure in a cave in the Appalachian Mountains. They get down in there, have a cave in, and discover their friend has brought them into an entirely new cave with no map and no known way out. See? It's movies like these that make me NOT want to go spelunking...ever. I don't have claustrophobia, but I can't handle situations like this.

Anyway, they make decent progress until they learn this cave is inhabited, and the creatures inhabiting it are rather hungry. They find out some good info about the creatures after they kill off (and eat) some of their party, and surmise there must be another way out since these creatures bring animals underground to eat. So the film becomes a race against the creatures. Will they get out, or get eaten?

Character-wise, this film is well done. I got a sense of each one of the party members, especially the main one whose family factors prominently in the teaser. The thought that something would happen to them did make me feel sorry for them. The film was so overall relatable from a general perspective that it was easy to get into and forget you're watching a film. I admit to jumping quite a few times when stuff happened. Since the plot was simple, more time was given to the development of the characters. And further, since they were all women, they spok freely about everything -- something not believable had there been a man in the group.

Plot wise, we're not dealing with rocket science. Get into a cave, get trapped, work against not only your failing and dwindling equipment, but eventually against some baddies to escape. We get some good claustrophobic moments as well as lots of dark area around the characters where just anything could happen. The creatures are powerful enough to be a significant threat, and since they live in the dark, they're somewhat scary as well.

I will say it got a little tedious for while as they went from cave to cave, and then after the initial attack of the creatures. I wanted it to get moving again, but it wasn't bad, and was probably just the tension.

There was even a bit of a character conflict twist thrown in during the first attack. This played out in several subsequent scenes, ending in a just desserts kind of ending for that character. It really showed the animal coming out in one of them. It makes you wonder where the creatures really came from, as that is never fulled covered (and honestly didn't need to be; we got enough).

I will complain a little about the reversal at the very, very end. I saw the unrated original version, and the end kind of fools you. I really didn't like the way it ended and I understand the American theatrical release ended it on a more upbeat note.

This was a fun movie. It was simple with good characters, and quite a few nice scares to it. It built suspense and tension, and made sense as it all rolled out. Definitely worth seeing.

The Da Vinci Code -- 2006 -- PG-13

I finally got a load of this film after months of hearing little bits here and there about it as well as the big "controversy" surrounding the storyline. It's based on the Dan Brown novel of the same name and follows the trials of a pair of secret societies and the regular people who get caught up in them.

The backstory of this whole thing is not the creation of Dan Brown, but something that has existed for centuries. It is the belief that Jesus Christ was married to Mary Magdalene, and at the time of his crucifixion, she was pregnant with their child. They assert that the church that canonized the Bible in 300AD did everything they could to weed out any reference to Jesus and Mary having any kind of relationship beyond a platonic one, and use only the scriptures that emphsize his divinity over mortality.

What is my opinion on this idea? Well, I am a Christian and do believe in the Bible as the inspired word of God. Whether or not Jesus was married and had a child with Mary Magdalene does not change anything else that happened. He understood more than anyone what he was doing, and since he never sinned, this would mean that any marriage he may have had would have been sanctioned by God. Frankly, I find the existence or lack thereof to be irrelevant to the overall story and importance of Jesus, so I attach very little importance to the truth or fiction of this idea.

So, moving on to the film. What we have here is kind of like National Treasure in that we're gathering clues and hunting for solutions. It uses existing artifacts and information to open up a world beneath it that people don't know exists. There's a lot of cleverness in here that draws you into the story and makes you wonder where it's going to go next. Throw in some reversals and you have a well plotted film.

The characters were fairly well drawn and understandable. The villains were not necessarily evil, but doing what they felt was right to them. The protagonists were also doing what they felt was right. This works a lot better than just being evil.

Off the top of my head, I wasn't distracted by anything in this film and it worked real well from beginning to end. The subject matter was definitely different, but not too distracting. So watching this one is not a waste of time.

Dead Heat On A Merry Go Round -- 1966

Strange and somewhat ambiguous title for a strange and somewhat ambiguous movie. We're not talking strange and ambiguous in a David Lynch sort of way, we're talking strange and ambiguous in the I-think-the-director-left-out-some-important-information kind of way. The theme of this review is

We start with James Coburn as either a mental patient or a prisoner (I'm not sure which) who gets out on parole, and it turns out is sleeping with the prison psychologist. Well, for some reason, he skips his once-a-month parole appointment to go out of town for some reason having to do with money (I think). Well, he leaves with $5,000 and is supposed to acquire another $85,000 before he returns. Again, no reason is stated why he has to do this. So he ends up in Boston and talks to a guy there about selling something. I don't know what he was selling, but it had a value of nearly $70,000 and he was only going to get a third of that. Along the way he marries some chick, and at least that reason was clear: he was too well known in Los Angeles, and he used her to get an apartment...or so it seems. This was probably the most interesting story thread, since we got the most explanation for it.

We finally get into the bank heist portion of the story, and while how we got there was incredibly ambiguous, the story of how they're going to do it mostly made sense. I did think their idea of timing it with the incoming Russian premier was clever in using the hubbub around him to mask their operation where on a normal day, the bank would get top priority. Also, the plan surrounding getting the money out of the airport area was exceeding clever, if not exceedingly risky. It made for some good final tension. When we got back to the final story of the wife (who we do feel a bit sorry for since, after all, she was conned), we get what is supposed to be the final insult (but I'm not sure to whom). We learn that someone died and left the estate to her; trouble is we don't know who this dead person is, nor do we know her relationship with that person. We assume it's the person we met earlier, but can't be certain since names are rarely exchanged here.

What fell apart in this one was character development. We knew very little about these characters or their lives outside of their purpose in the plot, which made pretty much everyone very one or two dimensional at the most. It appears that the script may have been cursed with the same thing that afflicted Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes: the "I forgot to put the characters' names in the dialogue" syndrome. We have quite a few characters and some of them are named occasionally, but on the whole we have very little idea who is who, and beyond that, no one talks about anything. We get lots of James Coburn going around and disguising himself badly, but very little in the way of meaningful discussion either about who everyone is or what is going on in the plot.

I'll also add that while most of the actors were pretty good, the first girl that Coburn seduces in a horrible French accent needed acting lessons in a big way. Imagine a 12 year old trying to sound like Marilyn Monroe and you'll get the idea. She delivered a monologue that would make David Lynch proud, since I sure couldn't make heads or tails out of much of what she spouted.

So in the end, this film might have been good due to its apparently ironic twist at the end. The problem was that everything was so hard to follow and lacked any explanation for what was going on that I spent more time trying to figure out what was going on (much less why) than I was able to spend enjoying the film. Personally, I can barely qualify it as a good effort; it just comes off as sloppy.

So why did I get this movie? Why, to see a young Harrison Ford as an uncredited bellboy in one scene, of course. It's like playing "Where's Waldo?". This was his very first big screen role at the ripe young age of 23 and his trademark smirk was still there eleven years before Star Wars.

Dark Victory -- 1939

Ever wonder what kind of competition Gone With The Wind actually had back in 1939 for its Best Picture Oscar? Well, I didn't either, but I was fascinated to find this film that I got primarily to catch Ronald Reagan at the chipper age of 28 was up for Best Picture opposite Gone With The Wind, and while this film doesn't have the color or spectacle of the 4 hour epic, it does have a lot of good character, heart and emotion.

The story is that of a spoiled socialite with everything she wants getting frequent headaches and finally seeing a doctor when her vision goes awry and she crashes her horse into a fence. Her family physician takes her to a brain surgeon who quickly determines she has what amounts to a tumor in her brain (they gave the medical term, but I don't recall it) that must immediately be operated upon. After the operation, she feels 100% better, but the doctor learns that the tumor was malignant, and although she won't notice it, she is slowly dying with less than a year to live. The only sign she will get that the end is near is sudden blindness only moments before she dies.

How'd you like to have that hanging over you? Well, the doctor and her best friend keep her in the dark for awhile before she inevitably learns the truth. It's a roller coaster ride of emotions as she pushes away everyone that's closest to her, denying the possibility while admitting she has limited time remaining. The actual ending will come as no surprise, but the journey is what this tale is all about. Will she go out fighting? Will she go peacefully? Will she have her friends and family? Will she be alone? You won't know until the final frame.

This was an incredibly told story. Free of spectacle, the story is just about the characters and their relationships through the trial of this woman's illness. We get to know the primary characters and their relationships with her as well as the woman herself, played by Bette Davis. She turns from a cold spoiled brat to someone with personality and a heart. The final scenes are downright heartbreaking due to the incredible setup it had leading into it from the rest of the film. It would be difficult indeed to not be affected by her final choices.

As for Reagan, he played a random talk-to guy who was either drunk or drinking through the majority of the film. The guy never changed his hair during all that time, and he was instantly recognizable via the "well..." in his tone of voice. Can't get over that baby face though compared to how I remember him as President.

An amusing note about the poor doctor in this one and something that felt like a running gag throughout was whether the doctor wanted a drink. He was asked in nearly every scene not in his office whether he wanted a drink and he always said no. There was one point where it was implied he had a drink, but we never saw it and he didn't want another. I just started laughing about it after awhile.

Anyway, this was an excellent film and well deserving of its place as a Best Picture nominee. Compared to 1939's epic winner, this was a bare bones, low budget film, but it had it where it counts in the story, the characters, and the emotion.

Derailed -- 2005 -- R

Ever since Friends, Jennifer Aniston either has poor taste in movies or just gets stuck with some bizarre clunkers. Derailed is no exception to this. It is a thriller, but involves a lot of stupidity on the part of the characters in order to make it go, and an engine fueled by stupidity is likely to drive off a cliff at some point. On the bright side, it shows the dark consequences of betrayal and adultery.

We start with a guy who has a wife and diabetic child. This family has struggled with this child's illness for years and has saved up for the best or worst case scenarios for years so when the call comes in, they'll have the money to pay for it. One day, the man misses his normal train and ends up on a later one, but without enough nmoney to pay for the ticket. A woman on the train offers to pay for him creating an instant friendship between them.

Naturally, the woman's beauty gets the better of the man's sexuality, and so he wants to meet her after work, etc., until they find their way to a little motel where they decide to have their sexual encounter. It is here that the other fun begins. They do not set the deadbolt on the door so some guy breaks in, beats the man, rapes the woman, and then opts to blackmail the man out of all his money. Whoops.

Fear of being caught is what fuels this whole film. The man is afraid that hias wife will find out what almost happened, and so he continues to pay out whatever the man wants. I don't know about you, but to me, the well being of my daughter would take precedence over my pride over stupidity. Now, the movie attempts to cover the contingency of him just being honest, but since the guy never really goes there with his wife, it never pays off.

It is hard to feel sympathy for someone who chooses a bad situation willingly and then ends up in a worse one. Part of me just feels like they had it coming, and then everyone is made to suffer for their decisions. This is thge hero of the story, though; the character we are intended to follow and pray he survives the ordeal. Like so many of the movies of this variety, you feel more sympathy for the family, who are the real victims here, and hope the guy can at least make things right for them.

I also feel like this probably biases me againt this movie from the get go as I actually hated The English Patient for this reason. I just can't cheer for something that was blatantly wrong to begin with. Call me moral or something here, but how can you get behind that?

Anyway, you do get a good understanding of the family dynamic and the seriousness of the daughter's condition, so you know how dire a need she has and how important it is to keep ahold of that money. There was a deleted scene that I thought helped to solidify the urgency of the final act where the guy has given away everything and they learn what they need is available...but now he can't pay for it. This would lead back into what was not cut where the guy promises to get it all back. Without this cut scene, the final act lacks the urgency it was supposed to have.

I will say from a basic story perspective, it was constructed well enough, though the guy did have a few easy out avenues he never explored. As I said, it's hard to get behind these adultery stories, but if you enjoy these types of thrillers, it's not too disappointing as the twist is fairly satisfying.

Dominion: A Prequel to the Exorcist -- 2005 -- R

We've recently had two Exorcist prequels grace our presence, and a short bit of research reveals that they both came from the same source, one in response to the other (as opposed to the "things come in pairs" philosophy). Basically, the studio that funded the prequel made this one first, rejected it as "unmarketable" and then commissioned a script rewrite and got them a ne director for Exorcist: The Beginning which was released in 2004. When that one flopped, they went ahead and allowed this one to be released. I hope they at least made their investment back, because there's mot much of redeeming quality here.

The original film makes a reference to Father Merrin performing an exorcism on a prior occasion and his love for archaeology. This film takes those elements and makes a story out of them so that we can see Father Merrin in action before he performs the exorcism in the original 1973 film. One begs the question "why?", but moving on from there, what we have is a film that deals with our good Father losing his faith and finding it again through the activities of the film.

The plot follows Merrin supervising a dig somewhere that an ancient church is found buried in the sand of a desert. They find that it is a perfectly preserved buidling probably having been buried shortly after construction, and to make matters more interesting, it isn't setup like a church honoring God, but like something built to keep something else in. They discover a sacrificial chamber under the church, and are intrigued. Yeah, that's about as good as I got to describe that. Normally, it's "and that's where the fun begins" or something like that, but it isn't. No, they find this chamber and move on with their lives. Nothing happens.

In fact, very little of dramatic value happens throughout the majority of the film. We occasionally get something to try and move us, but life returns to normal so quickly after each moment that they become non-moments with no lasting impact. One provided a nice throwback to our Father Merrin's past, but it was also quickly let go.

To me, this was a very boring movie, and who knows? Maybe I didn't get it. I wartched about half of it one day, and I was so disinterested, I had to force myself to finish it. Eventually, something occurred near the end, but by then, I tired of waiting to see if anything of interest was actually going to happen ever in this movie. Although we got more and more dramatic moments the closer we got to the end, it never really took hold of me to engage me into the storyline. I enver found any connection to the characters or their situations to the point that I could even think I missed something.

I find myself in agreement with the Morgan Creek execs: it does feel rather unmarketable...or better said: boring.