Ultraviolet -- 2006 -- PG-13

This was a film with a decent premise done in by a bad script. The effects were clever enough but a little on the low budget side. The fights were well-choreographed, but strangely, completely blood-free.

When I first read the synopsis of this movie, I blanched. The plot seemed similar to something I had written and that I'm rather proud of. However, a weak script, hole-ridden storyline, and general cheesy-ness have quelled my concerns about this little film usurping my eventual domination of the genre.

My major problem was a lot of stuff that just didn't make any sense. Apparently whatever is going on makes perfect sense to those on the inside, but to me, I got lost in the shuffle. They figure out this kid Violet is toting around is supposed to be able to kill off the Hemophages (the vampire type people). Well, the plot moves from this to weirder places and then off to somewhere where I got lost. Sheis supposed to have 36 hours to live, and not only does she survive longer than that, she survives beyond the death or something, and I don't know why. The kid dies, then lives. I don't know why. Violet cries tears which are suppose to mean something. I have no idea what they mean.

The fight sequences are overdone, and waaay overacted. They were mostly laughable.

The characters are cardboard cutouts there to jump through the hoops the plot provides. They have no apparent motivation. Whatever the point to this movie was, it got lost somewhere after, oh, it was conceived.

It is apparently based on a comic book character. Perhaps this is a case of fanboy mania where those who have read the comics understand the movie, and the rest of us...well, we're out of the loop.

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children - 2005 - PG-13

I saw a preview for this film, and when I saw the title, I thought they were putting me on and advertising a video game. It looked pretty neat from the trailer, and upon discovering it was a movie, I had to see it.

The best part of this film is the animation. It's CG like Pixar and Dreamworks are famous for, but this animation kicks both of those studios' butts when it comes to the CG work. It is absolutely incredible. Realism is beyond compare for computer animation. It's one of those that you must see to believe.

This medium, of course, allowed for some amazing action sequences. The opening motorcycle chase was just incredible. There was also a one on one melee in a gutted church that was rather good as well. Lots of great shots that were nothing short of picturesque while some high speed this and that went on in front of it. Just a feast for the eyes.

This is, however, where the good part ends.

This thing is based on a video game, and I can only guess it translated well. There was a ton of exposition running non-stop from one end to the other to make sure the audience had a clue as to what was going on. This means that the character development was almost completely sacrificed. They tried to squeeze too much into their running time, so elements of the plot seemed odd or out of place at several moments.

Then, comes the friends of the main character. Who the heck are these guys? We go from ex-soldier guy with skill to these superheroes with no introduction. They come into the story completely out of no where like a deux ex machina finish to a large monster (who also came out of no where) in the middle of the film.

Then, it turns out the main villain is someone who does not exist until certain requirements are fulfilled. It was a neat final battle, but the final resolution escaped me.

I can see fans of the game throughly enjoying and understanding this film, but this is another that for me, who watches the movie and expects to understand, I got lost in the overwhelming plot laid out here.

Final Destination -- 2000 -- R

This film has probably one of the cleverest premises in recent history for a horror movie. It was actually original. What if you had a premonition of your own death and avoided it? The answer plays out in this film where death does not like to be interrupted in his plan and the survivors of a horrific plane crash are summarily killed in a variety of "accidental" ways.

The boy who saw the accident which should have killed them is ushered off a plane when he declares that it will explode on takeoff. He and several others are in the waiting area when the plane actually does explode killing everyone on board and traumatizing those remaining. Just when they think it's all over, the survivors begin to die as well.

The death sequences (not to be morbid) are extremely inventive. Since we are not dealing with a physical force, but one that is supposed to be supernatural and controlling the fates of everyone, the potential for creative sequences is very much there. Every once of these things could be well labeled a freak accident, since the chances of most of these actually happening in real life is slim to none.

One of the more creative: a woman is drying her hands and lays the cloth on a knife block. She is boiling water for tea and pours the water into a mug. She flips out whe she realizes the saying on mug has emotional impact. She dumps the hot water and grabs vodka from the freezer. Well, this causes the mug to crack and the vodka to leak out. She walks across the room with the mug in hand and adjusts something behind a computer monitor (I forget what this was, but it made sense). The vodka trickles out of the mug and down into the computer monitor. She continues fooling with whatever next to the monitor for awhile. Well, the vodka gets into the electronics, creates a short circuit, and the monitor explodes. She is cut by the flying glass. Then, the flames from the exploding monitor ignites the vodka trail on the floor leading into the kitchen. Now the stove is on fire. She makes her way into the kitchen to put out the fire and collapses from the blood loss. She looks up and sees a cloth to help stop the flow of blood. What's the cloth on? The knife block. Tug on the cloth. Knife block comes down and thunk! Knife in chest. But wait, she's still alive. Our boy comes to help her. The stove blows up and knocks a dining room chair over to push the knife in. Now she's dead.

While not all of the deaths show that level of creativity, there are many that do, and the final showdown is not to be missed since it doesn't get more unlikely than that, and yet well within the rules of the film.

Definitely a recommended one for its creativity, originality, and even rewatchability.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - 2005 - PG-13

The fourth film adapting the Harry Potter series continues the tradition laid down in the third of allowing Stephen Kloves to adapt the book properly instead of trying to film the book as the first two films did. The result is a film that, like the books, is darker and scarier than the one before it. While it was diappointing that John Williams did not compose the music to this one, it is still a great film and a great addition to the HP series.

This film moves fast. Kloves followed the standard of adaptation very well by retaining the essential plot points of the book while writing a screenplay around them. We thankfully do not include the Dursleys here allowing us to pick up right in the wizarding world with the Quidditch World Cup and all the things that went with it. From there, we jet right over to Hogwart's and get into the point of the movie: the Tri-Wizard Tournament, that underage Harry, of course, has to participate in.

It's been awhile since I read the book, but I remembered much of it as I watched the film meaning it followed the story pretty closely. I'm sure there were some things missed, but given the length of the book, that comes as no surprise. The essence of the story was captured, and we got ourselves a dark, fast film with some solid character moments for the lead trio and those around them.

A moment I am grateful was touched on is the budding love-hate between Hermione and Ron that is back and forth in the books. They were given a solid scene to play out the emotions and they did it very well. Be very cool to see how they continue to blossom this one.

So, overall, if you've liked the movies so far, this one will not disappoint.

The Brothers Grimm -- 2005 -- PG-13

This movie looked intriguing from the trailers I watched, but the final product was actually kind of disappointing. I guess it's still possible to make a good trailer.

The main problem here from the beginning was the pacing. It moved slowly and continued to take its time meandering through the opening plot lines. I had some difficulty following how the brothers ended up in their precarious situation and what the emperor had to do with it as well.

After about an hour, the pace picks up a little bit and it becomes somewhat interesting, but as we continue through it, too much goes on. They are in and out of the forest too much which causes it to lose its nature of being a threat. They are captured, released, and chased over and over again. The final battle throws in nearly every character we've met so far, and it becomes more of an eye roller than anything else.

The outcome to the final battle strikes me as ill-conceived and very hard to believe, even for a fairy tale.

So what began as a good idea just kind of foundered in the making of the film. I think the script has some issues as well that should have been corrected prior to filming. Terry Gilliam, the director and of Monty Python fame, has directed perfectly good films before, but it seems he missed the mark on this one with a film that is too slow and too contrived for its own good.

Corpse Bride -- 2005 -- PG

Whoa, now this was wild. A perfect romantic musical comedy set against a horrific, gloomy backdrop. Probably the only cross-genre horror-romance I've ever seen. The only trouble you run into was when it's over, how do you feel? Were you scared? Did you laugh? Did you get that warm, fuzzy romantic comedy date movie feeling? Are you as confused as I am?

The cross-genre thing aside, this was a really great film. It played up all the classic "dead" conventions of body parts falling off and such, while simultaneously constructing a great romantic storyline with one of the best conflicts (live guy marries dead girl). It ran through the film wonderfully creating awkward situations and a wonderful climax.

The characters worked well for me, the pacing and transitions show that Tim Burton is a skilled director, and the Danny Elfman music and songs, while definitely sounding out of character for the traditionally dark Elfman, are quite good. 

The only downfall is the musical sequences primarily serve to lengthen the dreadfully short 77 minute run time. I can't help but wonder why it was so short. Granted it moved really fast, but I kind of felt a little cheated when it ended so quickly. We could have tried to spend a little more time getting to know these characters, and it would have only benefited the film as a whole.

If you can wrap your mind around the bizarre genre cross in this one, it's definitely worth watching.

Constantine -- 2005 -- R

If you watch this one, you'll like it or hate it. It's the type of fime that requires you to shut off the logic center of your brain and simply go with the ground rules that the movie lays down. If you try to make it religious, you'll hate it.

Now that we've gotten past that, this was a decent film. The main character had a huge flaw and a backstory that tied directly into the body of the film and the story. It was actually quite brilliant. The plot flowed very nicely throughout, and once you hit the end with minimal untied ends.

The only real complaint I had was this guy that was at the beginning. He kept showing up here and there throughout the film without any real intro of who he was or why he was doing what he was doing. We slowly get the idea that he is carrying an artifcat most necessary to the completion of the main plot, but how he becomes supernatural is really never fully explained. Pondering it after the movie ends, I can come up with an explanation plausible within the structure of the film, but I shouldn't have to. This film explained everything except that one point...maybe I missed it.

I might as well hit on the inevitable all-knowing character who lives is a weird location, but seems to have all the answers as long as you know the question. Constantine also has a "sidekick" that disappears for the central portion of the film when he isn't needed. It seems he serves his base purpose in the plot and goes "poof" when we don't need him.

Overall, it made for a good action film, and makes a borderline superhero type of film. I could see it as an underground comics type of hero, and I believe he is actually based on a comic book character. The most difficult part of watching this film is forgetting everything you know about religion and accepting what the film is saying for the duration. However, if you can do this, it's a great ride.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory -- 2005 -- PG

I really liked this adaptation of the Roald Dahl novel. It dealt with the material a little differently than the 1971 musical version, however, it did it in a masterful way.

It looks like this movie was made FOR Tim Burton, not just by him. Danny Elfman set Roald Dahl's lyrics straight out of the book to clever and singable music (always enjoyed Oingo Boingo, his band). Willy Wonka was characterized like never before, and it even ended with a touching third act that does not exist in either the book or the 1971 film. 

Really, the only weakness I felt the film had was an undercharacterization of the 4 other children that went into the factory. That being the weakest point of this whimsical tale in my opinion makes this a movie that is very much worth watching. Tim Burton is still a master of his art.

The Crow -- 1994 -- R

This film was based on the underground comic book of the same name and was very gritty and dark. It followed a guy who was brutally murdered with his girlfriend, and then comes back a year later to avenge his own death under the watchful eye of a crow. Overall, the film was very good with lots of action, feeling, and plot. I really feel the weakest point was the beginning.

It opened with the death of our main character. If the filmmakers had tried to flesh out the guy and his girlfriend just a little bit before they were murdered (get some of those hopes and dreams stuff going), then their deaths would have had more impact. We would be expecting a movie about them, and then wonder what just happened when they get killed.

Doing this would have spoiled nothing since the guy learns most of it during the first 10-15 minutes of the film anyway. I think knowing the relationship between himself and the girl would have helped this movie tremendously. As it is, it's good, but it could have been better.

Big Fish -- 2003 -- PG-13

This fantasy tale from Tim Burton was a wonderful little yarn blurring the line between fact and fiction. The basic plot is a son's father's tall tales of his younger life. The son does not believe they are true at all beyond the very basest part of it might have happened. 

As he moves through his father's tales (along with the tales showing us that fantasical life his father led), he finds more and more that the stories have more truth than fiction to them. 

The story has a beautiful ending showing that Burton's flair for the dark and strange can easily be adapted to a very touching tale. Worth watching.

Dracula -- 1992 -- R

aka: Bram Stoker's Dracula

Despite the title, Francis Ford Coppola's version of the classic vampire story holds true to the novel in some ways, but departs completely in others. The most outstanding example is that the novel is no where near as erotic and sensual as this film is. Pretty much the entire sequence of Dracula following Mina around town never occurred in the book. In fact, Mina is nearly nonexistent from the novel except where Lucy is concerned, and then she runs off to Jonathon upon hearing from him.

The relationship between Mina and Dracula is an element of the film only. The novel contained no Elisabeta and no sequence where Dracula was damned. Mina's desire to drink the count's blood, while so willing in the film, is described like this in the book: "The attitude of the two had a terrible resemblance to a child forcing a kitten's nose into a saucer of milk to compel it to drink." Mina herself says later that she was forced to suffocate or drink.

The film taken on its own, it plays remarkably well. The characters are fairly well rounded, and the plot moves at a good pace. The relationship between Mina and Jonathon is not as well as it really should have been made, since you feel like she should be with Dracula and even feel a bit sorry for the count when he loses her.

It did do a good job of condensing the novel into a conhesive whole with the wealth of characters contained in the book. Dracula is extremely creepy and very well conceived in this version. He doesn't walk; he glides. His shadow has a mind of its own. Very awesome. He also plays as a very threatening character; one to be feared and not underestimated.

Compared to novel: extra plot never contained kind of takes away from the horror element. As a film alone: excellent.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon -- 2000 -- PG-13

This film won 4 academy awards, and none of them (except maybe best foreign film) had anything to do with the quality of the storyline or the film as a whole. Having heard good things about this picture, I knew I'd watch it eventually, and after doing so, I was grossly disappointed.

I can't really fault the dialogue since it was filmed in Chinese and dubbed into English, although the dialogue was rather lifeless through most of the film. While the film got off to a decent start, it was a painfully long time before anything remotely interesting happened. Just a lot of wordy, boring, slow scenes. And when we hit a fight scene, it was boring as well. 

The only point of interest in this first fight scene was the almost divine jumping ability of the combatants, however, it quickly turned into shoddy wire work as the actors were clearly "flown" from rooftop to rooftop, their legs flailing as they went along like watching the Broadway version of Peter Pan. I'm thinking, "You've got to be kidding."

I was completely removed from the experience after this point since it looked so ridiculous. The characterizations were fine attempts, and had the plot not been so paper thin, I might have been able to get into them. Once again, though, the scenes were wordy and boring. Fight after fight was poorly choreographed. I was just waiting to see how they would turn it out, and the ending didn't even make sense. I'm sure it was very impressionistic and deep, meaning (if you know about impressionistic art) it doesn't make sense -- don't try to make it make sense.

I did finally figure out, however, the deal with the shoddy wire work. Apparently, this martial arts discipline knows how to suspend their weight, and for all intents and purposes, fly. Had I known this BEFORE the first battle, I'd've totally been into it. Without this very vital piece of info, though, it was just another Broadway production of Peter Pan.

If this was the best foreign film of 2000, I would be frightened to see the other contenders. This is actually really sad since the Japanese Ringu 0 was a far, far, far superior film to this tripe.

But hey, great cinematography, music, and art design.

The Fog -- 1980 -- R

The original version of The Fog was written and directed by John Carpenter, the guy who gave us Halloween. It follows a small town preparing for their centennial celebration only to find out that their founding fathers may not have been entirely scrupulous in their dealings to acquire the monies needed to build the town.

So we get a fog which rolls in and brings with it the zombie-ish people who want revenge on the town for their founding fathers. What follows is a handful of deaths and a small climax to wrap things up. It has a fair amount of chilling moments, and a very creepy atmosphere which helps, but beyond Carpenter's inherent film making strengths, there's really nothing to write home about.

We are introduced to a host of different characters, but Carpenter is more focused on his thrills and plot than developing these characters to anyone memorable, and if a character dies, we don't really miss them.

The basic plot is decent, and it has a solid backstory. If Carpenter had spent some time on his characters, we'd have a really memorable movie. As it is, it's another filmed filed under the slashers that could have been better.

The Butterfly Effect -- 2004 -- R

I read the screenplay for this film quite some time ago, and I had high hopes for this one. It did not disappoint. This is a serious thrill ride with some solid characters ad a killer plot that is very clever as long as you don't think about the implications too much.

There are actually two versions of this film, each one with a different ending. The theatrical cut has a happy ending, while for the director's cut, they decided to go a bit on the edge, and give it a nasty, ugly ending. While I can say I've been a bit of a sap and like the happy endings, I seriously hate this director's cut ending. I love the film, but the ending really stinks.

So, I've decided I need the director's cut with the theatrical ending. This just means I need the mix-n-match edition, right? 

Anyway, this was a great psychological thriller that ran really well with some solid characters and tackles some of the big what-if questions in life.

The Cell -- 2000 -- R

I loved the premise of this film. A psychiatrist uses a mchine to enter the mind of someone else to dig through and get some info they need. The images and such of being in someone's mind were a real trip and fun to endure in some ways (and scenes), but really disturbing in others. Unfortunately, this premise is completely wasted in this film.

The premise is that they enter the mind of a serial killer to try and discover the whereabouts of his final victim. Awesome. The Agent who finally entered the guy's mind (not the psychiatrist) saw a symbol that was on a table at the guy's house, and made the connection using standard detective work, meaning if we were watching CSI, they would figure it out without the help of this machine. Sure it gave the psychiatrist someone to save and to prove her point about something earlier in the film, but when something can be skipped and reach the same solution, it really spoils the plot.

Moving on, the killer's character was very well rounded, but the main pair of the cop and the psychiatrist were very thin. There were some references made that I thought would come out later, but they were never returned to, and another reference later just came out of thin air. Everyone else was completely forgettable.

So, good special effects and a clever premise in a blissfully wasted package of a plot.

Final Destination -- 2000 -- R

This film has probably one of the cleverest premises in recent history for a horror movie. It was actually original. What if you had a premonition of your own death and avoided it? The answer plays out in this film where death does not like to be interrupted in his plan and the survivors of a horrific plane crash are summarily killed in a variety of "accidental" ways.

The boy who saw the accident which should have killed them is ushered off a plane when he declares that it will explode on takeoff. He and several others are in the waiting area when the plane actually does explode killing everyone on board and traumatizing those remaining. Just when they think it's all over, the survivors begin to die as well.

The death sequences (not to be morbid) are extremely inventive. Since we are not dealing with a physical force, but one that is supposed to be supernatural and controlling the fates of everyone, the potential for creative sequences is very much there. Every once of these things could be well labeled a freak accident, since the chances of most of these actually happening in real life is slim to none.

One of the more creative: a woman is drying her hands and lays the cloth on a knife block. She is boiling water for tea and pours the water into a mug. She flips out whe she realizes the saying on mug has emotional impact. She dumps the hot water and grabs vodka from the freezer. Well, this causes the mug to crack and the vodka to leak out. She walks across the room with the mug in hand and adjusts something behind a computer monitor (I forget what this was, but it made sense). The vodka trickles out of the mug and down into the computer monitor. She continues fooling with whatever next to the monitor for awhile. Well, the vodka gets into the electronics, creates a short circuit, and the monitor explodes. She is cut by the flying glass. Then, the flames from the exploding monitor ignites the vodka trail on the floor leading into the kitchen. Now the stove is on fire. She makes her way into the kitchen to put out the fire and collapses from the blood loss. She looks up and sees a cloth to help stop the flow of blood. What's the cloth on? The knife block. Tug on the cloth. Knife block comes down and thunk! Knife in chest. But wait, she's still alive. Our boy comes to help her. The stove blows up and knocks a dining room chair over to push the knife in. Now she's dead. 

While not all of the deaths show that level of creativity, there are many that do, and the final showdown is not to be missed since it doesn't get more unlikely than that, and yet well within the rules of the film. 

Definitely a recommended one for its creativity, originality, and even rewatchability.

Final Destination 2 -- 2003 -- R

For a sequel, this one didn't do too bad. It had a lot of conventions of the genre in that it killed off whoever survived the original (except the token one, of course). It had the one surviving person who could bring everyone up to date from the first film with the "I was there" speech. It altered the rules somewhat, though did a fair job of explaining them. 

Complaint one is about the dialogue. Seriously, there are several lines that should never appear in a movie of any kind. When the character is talking and pauses briefly, there is not real reason to say "go on" except it being in the script. There was the "what do you mean" question when someone was explaining something weird. And of course, it wouldn't be a sequel with the "I can't believe this is happening again" line. Not just once, but three times!

There were a lot of contrivances to the plot, though it did what it could to explain them away, to its credit. Unlike the first one, the potential victims here were all strangers, meaning they had to trust each other in this outlandish theory. So they all got together to meet about it. Why? This is not answered. Nor is it explained HOW they managed to get everyone a special cell phone instead of just exchanging numbers. Again, there was some good explanation to get around some of this, but passing out the cell phones was just silly to me. 

What went right was changing up the rules. At the beginning, I had doubts since the rules as established in the original were that you will die in the order you were supposed to die in the original incident. Well, the last ones to die were the first to go, so I'm thinking there's a problem here since our girl survived and the was the last to die. That gets explained and it works for me. We're going in reverse order.

And now, the real redeeming quality. I hesitate to say much on this since it would this part of the film though it has no bearing on the actual plot. Here's the short version without details. Every survivor in this film would have died the previous year had the survivors in the original film died on the plane. They go into detail on this one, but that's some good storytelling.

So this is a rare sequel that measures up closely to the original probably because they worked to tie it in to the original, give us the elements of the original we liked, and move the story forward instead of placing it on a treadmill. Good stuff.

Got FD3 at home and looking forward to it...

Hello Again -- 1987 -- PG

This was a cute little romantic comedy involving a woman who chokes to death and is broughtback to life by her transcendentalist sister who owns a shop of items such as crystal balls and books on myticism. Trouble is she was married and wasn't brought back until a year after her death giving her husband ample time to find himself a new life. The film follows her picking up the pieces of her life and working to move forward. Of course, there is a fair amount of jealousy and conflict from both hubby's new wife and everyone who doesn't believe she actually died.

This is a sweet little film and has plenty of laughs and goofiness along with some nice characters and a happy ending.

The Lost World -- 1925 -- NR

The is the 1925 silent film based on Arthur Conan Doyle's novel. This film is famous for its dinosaurs which tend to show up as archive footage in a ton of other movies and such. Its dinosaur special effects and the combining of the dinosaurs with the live actors is still very good, so in 1925, it probably blew everyone away. This was one of the first movies that showed that when making a movie, the only limit is your imagination.

Plot wise, it takes off pretty good but once they reach the plateau of the dinosaurs, it really drags. I nearly fell asleep, and that's rare during a film of any kind. Once we got back to London with the dinosaur, the movie picked back up again to a decent finish. The interactions between the dinosaur and the town and people of London was very well executed effects-wise. 

It's an iconic movie in film history, and the version I watched had a good 30 minutes of footage restored to it. Still worth watching for the history, but I think they maybe should have left those 30 minutes out.

The Green Mile -- 1999 -- R

This bizarre tale from the mind of Stephen King was based on his serial novellas, The Green Mile. The title came from a death row prison block with a green floor. Death row is generally called "The Mile," but with their green floor, it became "The Green Mile."

This movie is almost 100% character. There are some shocking moments made more poignant by knowing these characters and their relationships with each other. Since this is death row, we see men sent to the electric chair and how that entire process is carried out. We also get a conflict between a guard and a prisoner. A very shocking (d'oh! pun!) death comes at 90 minutes through the 3 hour flick, and the chords of it strike much, much deeper due to the character development leading up to it. If this had been done after 15 minutes, it would not have meant anything and not have been memorable at all.

On a first watching and taking in everything throughout the film, I found it to be very good. A great exercise is suspense, plot, and development from one end to the other. It also had a solid twist and amusing consequences for one of the nastier characters.

The ending was inevitable and heartbreaking. Through the time we spent getting to know everyone, and then what they had to endure at the end made this movie a very solid viewing and one to stick in the mind if you have the three hours to commit to it. 

And as an added bonus, it even has Sesame Street's "Mr. Noodle's brother, Mr. Noodle" as Mr. Delacroix...not that the kids are watching...he doesn't come to a good end.