Black Christmas -- 2006 -- R

I watched the Blockbuster-Exclusive-Unrated-Edition, but that wasn't enough to help this putrid mess of a mess that is the of most unfortunate category a film can have: it had potential. The backstory was there. The setups were there. The red herrings were there. Lots of cannon fodder were there. But the film used every one of these elements very, very badly (or introduced them and failed to use them at all) to create just another horror movie.

This film is based on a 1974 film that also claims to have sparked the slasher revolution before John Carpenter's Halloween did 5 years later, and elements of this film clearly hearken back to that original. I intended to watch the 1974 version first, but an oversight on my part led me into this one instead. But I recognize some parts of the backstory that fit in well with the goings-on in movieland back in 1974. Too bad this rich, yet disturbing, story wasn't used for anything except telegraphing the killer and ejecting all the red herrings.

The story basically involves a group of sorority pretty girls sticking around in their sorority house during the Christmas holiday. They all pretty much have the same attitude problem with different quirks. Of course, like most horror flicks, I couldn't tell you their names if I had to, nor picture their faces. In fact, one of them went to bed at one part, but when someone found her in bed sleeping later, I thought we'd introduced a new character for a minute there. Anyway, they're all in the house during this driving snowstorm (of course), and a killer starts hacking at them. They do the usual range of stupid things: exploring weird noises, wandering off by themselves, randomly going into dark places. I will grant that this place is their home, and it is somewhat natural to do these things, but checking out a movement in the attic by myself is something I probably wouldn't do. They also attempt to give the characters some reasoning to go back into the peril by using the old catch phrase "I'm not going to believe she's dead until I see it for myself." If we tally up the score at that point, statistically, she's dead. EVERYONE ELSE IS, WHY WOULD THE KILLER SPARE JUST ONE? It didn't work out in Texas Chainsaw Massacre, what makes you think it'll work out or you?

It was a chore to watch and see the magical, teleporting, invincible killer(s) do their thing throughout. I know how they get through the house (for the most part), but how they got into a frozen car (without being noticed) is beyond my realm of understanding. And the icicle thing is just way too coincidental for my taste and just rang dumb.

The characters, as usual, werecardboard and only existed to be killed. I know that is the only reason they exist, but very little attempt was made to garner any sympathy or connection with these unfortunate girls. We even had ourselves a little red herring in the midst who could have been used so well, but instead, she appeared in only one scene, and was easily dismissed as anyone important. We have another red herring who keeps popping up, but this person as the killer is also way too easily dismissed given all our visual info about who is doing it. The killer becomes very easily identified once all the info comes out about who it is, and from then, it's just a wait until they decide to leave the house. Yup, there's no true peril because they are choosing to stay there. They could leave whenever they want, but they just don't.

So it could have been a lot better with all the elements they gave us to work with, but it just wasn't. Instead, we get a waste of tape that could have been used on something more legit instead of just another hack-n-slash.