The Last Kiss -- 2006 -- R

Ever watch a movie (that isn't horror) where you just want to strangle the character so he doesn't do something else that is stupid. Oh man, I wanted to tie Zach Braff's character to a chair in this movie so he was incapable of making yet another asinine decision. Here's the scoop.

In the midst of half a dozen subplots, you have the character of Michael, who is afraid of marriage and commitment, but is living with a girl he has knocked up. Apparently they've been together for several years, but he is afraid that getting married will "change all that." I guess his love of sitcoms has gone to his head. Anyway, Michael and his pregnant girlfriend, Jenna, head off to someone's wedding where Michael meets a girl named Kim, who is nearly 10 years younger and in college. She likes him and he is appropriately stand-offish to her...until she asks if he wants her number. He says sure, but (oh, bummer) nothing to write with. She tells him where he can find her. He returns to life with Jenna.

Now, stupid things occur. I will grant that this is my opinion and my own values factor into this, but here goes. He goes to the college gathering area and meets up with Kim. She wants him to come out to a party. The idiot goes. He lies to the wife to get there and gets caught, she fusses at him and forces him out of the house for lying to her. This is when you tell Idiot...er, Michael...to sleep in the freaking car like a good little puppy. Nope. Kim calls and says she needs to see him. Sure. He goes over there, and any guess on what happens in her room? Well, he is an idiot, so why not.

Which character gets our sympathy and relation in this plot? The pregnant girlfriend. We want things to work out, but I felt sorry for her character in dealing with this idiot. She is honest and sweet. She honestly tries to get ahold of him when an emergency arises, and jerk has his phone off. Commitment issues are one thing, but the only thing that made his escapades not adultery was his lack of marriage certificate (not that the baby and prior loving relationship counts for much, I guess). So we follow his roller coaster through his asinine decisions wondering how humanity produced such an idiot.

Add to this plot at least four others that occur on and off throughout the narrative. You've got the party boys who want to move to South America, the one party boy whose father (I think) died, the parents who have a brief separation, and the married couple who decide to separate and share custody of the baby (another really dumb plot where you want to strangle that guy too). She wants help with the baby, and he feels like she's strangling him. A deleted scene here would have helped showing her being a bit overbearing and not letting him help. I think he could have tried harder. Marriage is work, and these folks weren't trying in the least.

The characters were, on the whole, wildly inconsistent or just childish. One minute Michael is declaring his love and devotion and the next, he's out with this chick. Then he's apologizing for kissing her, then he goes out and has sex with her. What the heck. He comes into his own at the end, but by then, we're lost. Jenna is well done. She is a simple girl who wants a family and is honest about doing it. I liked her. Most of the other characters were decently drawn with some fairly consistent activity. Just our main plot was annoying.

So it was an irritaing movie. The subplots were far too many and way too irrelevant to the main movie. They actually detracted from the plot. Maybe they were hoping we'd like the party boys and forget the idiocy. What this movie really feels like in the end is like a chick flick written by a college boy. It has that mentality and general randomness to it. It also has more of a focus on the male perspective than your standard romantic film, and begs (oh how it begs) you to sympathize with Michael and his buddy who separates from his wife even though the reasoning for them both is incredibly selfish. I can't see a woman coming up with this.

So really, it was a mixed up little flick that tried to tell about a confused man who was trying to find his own way in a relationship, and instead showed what happens when a bunch of frat boys try to grow up and get lost on the way.