Plan 9 From Outer Space -- 1959

Okay, I know what you're thinking... what the hell? I leave you alone for a few weeks and then come around with a commentary for the film that won the Golden Turkey Award for worst film and worst director in history? There's something seriously wrong with that, you say? Yeah, maybe, but it' my blog, so deal.

I recently watched Ed Wood (the Tim Burton biopic from 1994), and thought I'd check out the main film by Edward D. Wood, Jr. from that movie, Gravediggers From Outer Space, renamed by its Baptist Church backers to Plan 9 From Outer Space. Can't make this stuff up. According to Burton's film, it was financed to make money for the church to make 12 Apostles films, and Ed's landlord was part of the church. Anyway...

The movie was as I expected it to be, so I can't really complain. To be honest, despite its many flaws, it had some strengths too. It makes me wonder how Mr. Wood might have done had he had a real budget to work with. The film is quite simply a nightmare of low budget mania. Everything looks cheap.

But on the plus side, despite a weak story, ridiculous situations, and really bad dialogue, it isn't boring. In fact, it's paced very, very well to the point that it moves constantly from point to point, and despite the ridiculousness of the plot, it works its best to explain each and every non-sensical element...in such pain staking detail that you simply don't feel like denying the possibility in the fear that the film just might try to argue the point.

I'll admit to a level of bias having seen Ed Wood prior to this film, and actually appreciating what likely went on in the background (allowing for a bit of creative license on the part of Time Burton), the film turned out remarkably well. Yes, the cardboard tombstones fell over. Yes, they wobbled when the actors walked past them. Yes, the tomb was cardboard as well as the airplane's steering mechanisms. No, they couldn't quite decide whether it was day or night at any time during the movie.

But unlike our modern Ed Wood, Uwe Boll, Ed had almost no budget, no time, no real actors, or really much of anything else that the rest of Hollywood could keep their hands on. He shot his scenes in one take because he couldn't afford to develop more than one print of a scene; however, his actors knew their lines and actually nailed them in that single take. You know the movie outtakes where actors flub lines a hundred times and think it's funny? Ed Wood's movies wouldn't have outtakes. He took take one and moved on. I honestly don't think a take two would have helped.

So the worst movie of all time? I don't know about that. I've seen some real clunkers, and despite its flaws, this one is a heck of a lot better in my book than Scary Movie 2. Sure Scary Movie 2 had stars and a spooky house, but it was slow and dumb. Plan 9 had pacing. Maybe that's all it had, but for me a well paced movie, no matter how implausible, is a good thing to find. It means the worst movie of all time is...get this...watchable. Imagine that. That's one point that a lot of big budget movies miss. After all, they have the money to burn on pointless scenes. Plan 9 didn't have that luxury, and it worked in its favor.

Hey, something had to.