Movie Trailers and such

Monday, January 12, 2009

See No Evil -- 2006 -- R

Usually I start out with something nice, but wow, there was a grand waste of time. Here is what was printed on the Netflix sleeve, verbatim (with comments): "Eight juvenile delinquents (let's see...high number, juvenile, can we say 'slasher?') find themselves at the mercy of a hulking psychopathic killer (yup, slasher) when they're ordered to clean the abandoned (always abandoned...I don't think I want to be in an abandoned building...ever) Blackwell Hotel as an act of community service. The madman has a steel plate in his head (wait, this never comes up in the film...ever) and murder on his mind, but can the veteran police officer who put a bullet in his brain years before (four, to be exact) help the scrappy teens (scrappy?) save one of their own?" Well, frankly, we don't care. It's a slashfest, pure and simple with no plot whatsoever beyond a very thin desire to "save one of their own" to which the veteran cop gives no help because he's wiped out so fast.

Some other problems? I made a list...well, a short list.

The cops would at least call for backup before barging in.

They didn't know about the prior relationship between two of them? And they were in "business" together? And she helped to land him in jail? They would have known.

Dude runs to the penthouse floors? Why not down and out?

Our hero cop is killed off pretty quickly...I figured him for the hero. What a surprise. Not sure if it's a good one or not.

The chick wants to cry over a body dropped from a hole up into which the guy was pulled before he died. I like to call her a sitting duck.

One of the girls ran her fingers down a piano keyboard. The thing was fairly in tune. after 30 years, I don't think so. Granted, most people would miss it, but why tune a piano you're going to dump dust onto?

Well, one guy is no kind of hero. The cute girl was in trouble and he stayed hidden. He's gonna die at some point.

It's a tripwire. Let's pull on it! Hey, footfalls from above. Let's follow them! The guy isn't dangerous or anything. He's only wiped out everyone else.

Yup, busting the EXTERNAL controls on one floor of an elevator will completely disrupt the entire system. Um, no.

The keys are over on the table...but we'll run off for a moment rather than let you out.

Chick's at point blank range from the killer with a gun. And she keeps inching closer. Why won't she pull the trigger? How annoying. This isn't suspense. It's stupidity.

Can I find a redeeming quality? Sure...I will have to hand it to them for a truly grotesque fall. Going into it was pretty sick to begin with, but we went all the way down with every bump and thump involved.

Also, death by cell phone. Who hasn't wanted to shove a phone down someone's throat? Well, now we get an idea of what might happen.

There it is. Time is better wasted doing something else.

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